Coming home can be harder than deployment, and there's a way through it that doesn't require you to explain your service to someone who's never lived it.

Why does coming home feel harder than the deployment itself?

You dedicated your life to protecting people, and if this were a movie, the credits would roll on your “happily ever after” moment. But life doesn't end there. Civilians don't get the jokes that made you part of a team. They don't understand what you've been through, even if they want to. Friends and family may want you to talk, but you don't want to put that on them, or you assume they'd judge you, or they just wouldn't get it.

I spent seven years living and working alongside military personnel on bases in Iraq and Afghanistan. I understand why coming home can be the hardest part.

What does it look like when someone needs support after service?

• You feel disconnected from your life

• You're bored

• You're lonely. You went from a tight community to feeling like it's hard to connect

• Anger takes up a lot of your day, even little things are hard to calm down from

• You're avoiding things you used to enjoy because they remind you of painful things

Why are the skills that kept me alive over there called “symptoms” now?

They shouldn't automatically be. Staying alert, reading people quickly, compartmentalizing, reacting fast, and being ready for something to go wrong can be valuable skills in an environment where those skills matter.

Coming home doesn't suddenly make those skills pathological. What matters is whether they're still working for you. If staying alert means you can't sleep, being ready for danger means you can't relax with your family, or compartmentalizing means you can't connect with people you care about, then we work on that.

The goal isn't to take away a skillset that served you. It's to help you have more control over when you use it.

What if therapy didn't work for me before?

Then we look at why. Maybe the approach wasn't right for you. Maybe you spent too much of the session explaining military culture instead of working on what brought you there. Or maybe what you needed then isn't what you need now.

Therapy should give you something useful outside the session. We'll pay attention to what's actually changing in your life and adjust when something isn't working.

Will this show up on my records and affect my career?

If privacy, insurance records, or your career are concerns, we can talk through your options before you schedule. With private pay, I don't submit a claim or diagnosis to your health insurance.

Learn more about therapy, confidentiality, private pay, and security clearances.

FAQ

Do I have to be currently serving, or do you work with veterans too?
Both. I work with currently serving military members as well as veterans and prior service members.

What if I already tried therapy and it didn't help?
Then we look at what didn't work. The approach, the provider fit, or the amount of time you spent explaining military culture may have been part of the problem.

Will using insurance affect my clearance?
Seeking mental health treatment by itself is not grounds to deny or revoke a security clearance. If you're concerned about insurance records or privacy, private pay keeps your sessions from being submitted to your health plan. You can read more about confidentiality, private pay, and security clearances here.

Can we work together if I'm not currently in Montana?
For psychotherapy through Solutions Counseling, you must be located in Montana at the time of your session. Secure telehealth is available throughout the state.

You don't have to figure out the transition home by yourself.

If deployment or military service is still affecting your sleep, relationships, anger, sense of connection, or ability to settle into civilian life, let's talk.

I provide specialized trauma therapy for military members and veterans throughout Montana by secure telehealth. You won't have to spend half the session explaining military culture before we can work on what brought you here.

Call 406-272-4545 to see if we're a good fit.